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England won their first five games against Norway, between 1937 and 1980, to the cumulative score of 24-2. No wonder, then, that the commentator Bjørge Lillelien went off on one like he did when Norway eventually chalked up their first victory against the Three Lions in September 1981. And if you haven’t yet read Lars Sivertsen’s entertaining account of that famous rant, right that wrong immediately!
It’s been a lot closer between the two nations since then. In six subsequent meetings, England are two wins to one up with three draws, but it’s Norway’s sole victory that lingers longest in the memory: Oslo 1993, and a 2-0 World Cup qualifying win that marked the beginning of the end for poor old Graham Taylor. The famous yelps of “Do I not like that!” and “Can we not knock it?!” came earlier in that ill-fated campaign against Poland, but Phil Neal stole the show in Oslo with his spot-on impersonation of a lyrebird, while Taylor himself delivered a couple of off-screen “aw fucking hell”s that were a masterclass in comic timing and bathos. He was a good man, Graham; time’s been kind.
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